NaNo
by justaiden
Summary: my NaNo story.   it is a story of 5 teens in high school dealing with love, gender, sexuality, and other "normal" teen things.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one: Everyone**

**Chris**

_First day of school, great, _I think as I pull on the new pants my mom bought last week. _I hate the first day._ I never understand why parents insist on getting new clothes for the new school year; what's wrong with my old ones? I prefer my perfectly worn jeans and my some-what torn shirts. But mom always buys new things right before school and if I don't wear everything at least once she'll feel bad.

I also don't get why everyone brings all of their new school supplies on the first day. Today all I'm bringing is a notebook, folder, and pen. Nothing flashy, no overstuffed book bag, just the essentials; the one thing I've learnt in the past 3 years of high school you don't need anything for class until at least the second week of school.

My sister, on the other hand, thinks you should have everything just in case. For being twins we couldn't be more different. Amber is smart, top of the class, popular, never does anything wrong. Then there's me; lazy, lucky if I get straight Cs let alone Bs, I have my share of friends but not like her, and I get grounded at least once a week.

At least I can get away from her at school; I'm in the more artistic field, photography, whilst Amber is in business. I think I'd drop out if I had to see her 24/7.

**Jake**

"As- I mean Jake, are you ready yet?" Sounds like mom is in the hall meaning if I don't get down soon she'll leave without me.

"Ma, it's been six months, how much longer until you remember my name?" Joking as I meet her by the door, back pack over my shoulder ready for the first day of school.

"I know, I know; just give me time." I do give her time, and I understand it's hard, but it's harder for me having to hear my old name all the time.

Today I will be starting school as a boy for the first time. I'm transgender and after loads and loads of paper work and therapy sessions I finally had my name and gender changed in the school records just last week. I just hope no one recognizes me. Over the summer I cut off all of my hair, bought a chest binder, and threw out all of my old clothes and got a brand new wardrobe; one of the perks of living with a mom who will spend as much money as it will take to make me happy. I feel like I look completely different, but my peers will be the judge of that.

All I want this year is to fit it, make some new friends; most of my left me when I told them the big news; and to hopefully get a girlfriend. I want to be myself and be happy. Is that too much to ask?

**Sam**

"Chris and Amber are here, bye Mom!" I call as I walk out the door, I can hear her say something about chores but by that point I'm already jogging to the car. Thank god they live next door; I'd die if I had to ride the bus.

"Hey dyke," my usual greeting from Chris since I came out to them.

"Hey duche," my usual greeting for Chris since I came out, "hey Amber."

"Will you two ever be civilized?" Amber hates how Chris and I act when we're together. Some people find it weird that I'm best friends with both of them yet they are completely different. Chris and I can fuck around with whilst Amber I can talk to; it's like the best of both worlds. Except that Amber has been a little distant since I came out as a lesbian last year. She said it was fine and that she believes in gay rights but she hasn't been having me over as often. Though being friends with her twin brother, I'm still with them all the time.

I normally hate the first day, but for some reason I feel really good today. Today is the last first day. In 7 months I will be out of here and on my way to California. I am so sick of Canton, Ohio; I need to be in a big city asap. I'm sick of the close minded people here.

"Any news on colleges Amb?"

"Not yet, but I should know soon, I just hope I get into Harvard, anywhere else I don't care."

"Only you would apply before you were even a senior."

"Have to have my options early," I think she's crazy.

**Kit**

_I hate being the new kid_; I think as I walk in the doors to my new school, _I have no clue where I'm going._ Somehow I find my way to my first class: English 3. This should be easy; I love English. I'm the second person there; a boy that looks like a freshman is sitting in the back corner of the class. I take a seat in the middle, I don't want to stand out as the new kid with no friends yet sit in the back and be stuck with everyone who do have friends.

The bell rings ten minutes later and the teacher started pointing out where people will sit. I sit in the 4th row next to the kid who looks like a freshman; I think she called him Jake. Stereotypical English teacher; young, blond hair, wants to get to know everyone on the first day. "Today will be an easy day, just to get to know each other. Let's go around and say our name and our favourite book."

Everyone said books like Series of Unfortunate Events and Twilight, which are okay books, but everyone has read them. When it was my turn I said "I'm Kit, my favourite book is Let The Right One In." I could here a few people question what that was and the teacher said something about never reading that one. Then Jake went, "Hi I'm Jake, I like the Harry Potter series." _Wow, his voice even sounds young, I wonder if he hasn't hit puberty yet. At least he likes to read, not many guys can sit and read the whole series._

At the end of the class the teacher let us talk for a bit. I want to talk to Jake but I'm too shy to. He's actually really cute; with his black hair spiked into a faux hawk, bright blue eyes, he looks very little probably about 5 foot 5. _I wonder if he's new too._

"So I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other," I look up and see Jake looking at me with a smile.

"What? I ask stupidly.

"Your schedule," he points to the paper on my desk, "we have math and study hall together as well."

"Oh, well at least I'll know someone then."

"Are you new? I've never seen you before."

"Yeah, I used to live in Columbus; just moved in last week."

"Ha why on Earth would you ever move here?"

"My dad got a job, no choice," I try to smile but I think it comes off sadder than I mean to.

"Well it's not so bad here, boring at times but so is every place. You'll fit in well. Just warning you, you have about one day to pick your friends before you get forced into a clique. Happens every time there's a new kid, everyone wants to be your friend and if you don't pick they will."

"I don't like attention; I'd rather just go under the radar."

"Well, you can stick with me, that's a sure way to not get too many people wanting you."

"Why's that?" I try to ask but the bell rings and we're getting pushed away in the hall. "See you in math," I try to say before we get too far away. He turns and smiles at me and gives an encouraging wave._ I'm going to like this school._ I go to find my next class with a smile.

**Amber**

_Damn, math next just what I need; to sit with a bunch of juniors because math is the one subject I don't do well in. _I think on my way to class. It's not my fault Chris got the math gene and I didn't, that's the only class he does well in and it's my worst.

I take a seat in the back next to a girl with short blond hair. She kind of reminds me of Sam,_ I wonder if she's gay too. Wait what am I doing; someone's appearance doesn't define their sexual orientation._ I've been like this since Sam came out to us. I mean she's my best friends and I support her but what if she changes? I heard many stories of friends coming out only because one likes the other. But if I ever told her that she'd punch me. I love Sam and what her to be happy but I'm just worried something will change between us.

By this point class has started and the teacher tells us we're old enough to pick where we sit. I'm next to the blond girl and her friend, I've never seen either of them and I know everyone. They're probably both new. At attendance I learn the girl is Kit and the boy is Jake. _God, Jake looks like he's 15, I'm going to look stupid next to him because I'm almost 18 and in junior math._

We spend the whole class talking and "getting to know each other." I'd rather just jump right in and learn. All I want is to pass this class and graduate. Everyone thinks I'm so smart and everything comes easy but it's hard just to get a B in math. I guess I have something called dyscalculia or something; it's like dyslexia but with numbers. I hate math.

Finally after an hour of listening to everyone talk around me the bell rings and it's time for lunch. I find Sam and Chris and we go out to the quad to eat. The good thing about the quad is none of the underclassmen are brave enough to leave the building in case they get in trouble. It's nice to be with people my age right after math.

Sam and Chris are talking about some prank they want to do on their teachers from last year. I laugh a few times to show I agree but I'm not paying attention. I look around and notice some familiar faces. Although I'm popular and know everyone I still eat with Sam and Chris. No one has ever invited me to eat with them. I notice in the back corner where we used to sit Kit and Jake from math are sitting together. _I wonder if they're together, that would prove that her appearance doesn't make her gay._

"Hey, have you guys ever seen them before?" I point to Kit and Jake.

"Yeah I think they're in my study hall," Sam says through a mouth full of taco.

"Oh just wondering," I go back to my food and try to not think about them.

**That night, Chris and Amber**

"So kids, how was school?" Dad asks at dinner.

"Same old, same old; it's just school," Chris says whilst shoving potatoes into his mouth.

"It was fine, anything in the mail for me?" still hoping for a letter, Amber is starting to get discouraged.

"No, not yet sweetie; I'm sure it's on its way." Mom says rubbing Amber's hand softly trying to make her feel better.

"Don't worry Amb, you're going to get in, just you wait." Chris says giving his twin a thumbs up.

"I hope so," Amber looks down at her plate and doesn't say much else at dinner. Lost in her thoughts about how she will survive math with underclassmen that are smarter than she.

**Jake**

"How was school Jake," Mom asks as she pulls the pizza out of the oven.

"Hey, first time getting my name right," I say jokingly, she rolls her eyes at me. "It was good," and it was.

"No problems with teachers or names?"

"Nope, I think people think I'm a new kid." I take a piece of pizza and sit on the counter eating; we haven't had a sit down meal since my dad left us.

"Any, uh, cute girls?" Mom hates taking about girls but she tries to be supportive; although I'm straight and she knows I'm a boy she still doesn't like me with girls.

"Nah, not yet," but really there was someone. Two actually; my new friend, Kit, who is beautiful. Short, blond hair, big, brown eyes, laid-back style, and very easy to talk to. Then there was someone I don't even know. I saw her sitting with a girl in my math class. Short, black hair with that Justin Bieber flip, skater look; from what I could tell she was very cute. I think she's in my study hall but I only saw her back at lunch.

**Kit**

Whilst sitting in my room eating alone since my dads are out for the night I can help to think about Jake. He's just so cute and nice, we talked a lot today. He wasn't even weirded out by me having gay dads. I'm glad I actually made a friend today. It's nice to not be alone, but it seemed like he didn't want to be alone either. Not once today did he point out his friends and at lunch he looked relieved to see me. _I wonder if he has many friends or if I'm his only one._

**Sam**

_Mom's drunk again; she isn't even sober on my first day of school, lovely._ She's been like this since Dad was killed in Iraq last year. True it took me awhile to get over it and it did trigger me to cut again, but it's been over a year. I hate when she drinks.

I grab some Coke and chips and go up to my room to do my daily routine; sit online until one in the morning. The internet is way more interesting than thinking and worrying about school. _Good thing Mom stays sober enough to pay the internet bill._ I think then instantly feel bad and wish I didn't think that. Hopefully tomorrow Amber won't be as weird; it was like she was zoning out all day to get out of talking to me. I can tell me being gay bothers her, she just doesn't want to admit it. I wish I could be able to have a girlfriend and hang out with Amber like I could with Chris but I know she won't like that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two: Sam**

The first week of school flew by, like always. We're just now starting to do work in class and like always I don't pay attention but still know what to do. It's a gift. I have yet to find a girl I like, though I think this kid in my study hall likes me. He always looks at me and smiles whilst blushing; it's annoying sometimes.

At least Amber is back to normal, almost. We used to talk about who we liked all the time but now she doesn't even tell me what boys are cute. But I guess I'm glad she is back to hanging out with me like before.

It isn't until the next Friday that a girl finally catches my eye. I heard she's a foreign exchange student from England or Scotland. She was added to my first period Calc class and since I sit next to the only open desk I had the pleasure to talk to her first.

"So, I hear you're new; where you from? New York? California?" I joke trying to charm her.

"Funny, no I'm from Old York." Her accent is amazing; I could listen to her talk all day. "Seriously, I'm from York in England. I'm Bridget, and you are?"

"Sam," I stick out my hand eagerly which makes her laugh. We don't get to talk much more because by that time class has started and I spend the next hour staring at her out the corner of my eye.

She's very pretty; long, chocolate brown hair that frames her thin face perfectly. She's really thin and probably not even 5 foot 2, my 5 foot 4 would actually look tall next to her. I feel something touch my arm and look down to see that not only is she left handed but she was wearing a thin bracelet that looked like a faded rainbow. _Whoa, is she gay?_ I can't help but think. _Maybe she's just a supporter, I wonder if Amber would wear one? Doubt it._

The bell rings and as we pack up I quickly ask her to eat lunch with me before I even thought of what I was doing. Thankfully since it was the first class no one else could get to her so she said yes with a big smile. The next two hours go by so slow, all I want is to go to lunch and talk to Bridget again.

Have you ever noticed when you want something time goes by slowly but when you're dreading something time goes by fast? It's third period after what feels like a whole day. It doesn't help that it is study hall which means I won't have anything to do besides watch the kid who likes me watch me the whole time. As if on cue, he walks in with his friend, maybe they're dating and he's going to try to cheat on her with me. The desks are set up in groups of four so they sit across from me. I just sit there reading my book so to not draw attention to myself. They start talking loudly, probably trying to make me look, but it doesn't work.

Finally after an hour the bell rings and I practically run out of the room. Out in the hall I try my hardest to find Bridget, which is hard since we're both very short. I almost give up hope when the hall starts to empty until I feel someone grab my arm gently.

"Hey, lots of people here, hard to walk towards everyone." I turn to see Bridget smiling up at me.

"Oh yeah, we should go before the mob attacks us," as if I'm physic everyone started walking toward us to get to class. I feel Bridget hold tighter to my arm and pull closer to me. _Maybe she is gay,_ I think as I put my arm around her so we don't get separated. When we finally break away from the crowd we separate and walk next to each other. "So, uh, how do you like your first day?"

"I like it here, nice people. But it seems like people only like me because of my voice."

"Oh," I feel guilty because I'm one of them.

"You're different; no one else invited me to lunch. If it wasn't for you I would be sitting alone." She smiles up at me as I look for a table.

We sit and start eating; me asking what she thinks of America, her ask me how things work. After about five minutes Chris and Amber come up, since they bought their food. "Hey guys, do you know Bridget, the foreign exchange student? Bridget, these are my best friends: Amber and Chris."

"I didn't know we had an exchange student," Amber says with a smile, "it's nice to me you."

"As to you," Bridget smiles at her as they sit down.

We spend the whole lunch sharing stories and laughing at Bridget's mistakes with America. I kept getting distracted by how gorgeous she is that I would lose my train of thought. I think Amber started to pick up on me and would try to get me to pay attention. It didn't work, Bridget is just so distracting.

At the end of lunch I walked Bridget to class and said goodbye since we didn't have any other classes together. She thought it was cute and gave me a hug before I had to run to class. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I really like her.

That night after school I went to Amber's for dinner, Mom probably wasn't even awake to care where I am. I knew Amber just wanted to know what happened at lunch. But then again, maybe not since she seems so against me liking girls. So we went out to sit in our tree. There is a little apple tree in the back corner of her yard with branches that were perfect for climbing. We used to see who could climb the highest, it was always me but once Amber tried to beat me and fell and broke her arm. It was better as a kid but we still like it for getting away from Chris and talk.

"So what was that at lunch?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh don't play dumb, you never make the first move. You would never invite a new kid to eat with us. So what's up?"

"Nothing, I was just being nice. Is that so wrong?" I don't like where this is going.

"You like her, don't you?"

"So what if I do?"

"I just don't think you should invite her to sit with us."

"Why not, you guys seemed to like her."

"Well, I just don't think it's respectful, that's all."

"Respectful? What the hell does that mean? You just don't like her, is that it?" I start to raise my voice, I didn't mean to get into a fight but she was just making me mad.

"No, she's fine."

"Then why bring it up?"

"It was just on my mind. Don't freak out."

"A lot of things are on your mind, I know you Amber."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I can tell she's getting really mad.

"It means you don't like that I'm gay!" I just said, I didn't mean to say it but it just came out.

"What, I, that's not true."

"Yes it is, I could tell from the first day I told you that you didn't like it. Chris was perfectly fine with it but you weren't. You started getting really distant. In fact, I think this is the first time since I told you that we have been alone together. I've noticed Amber."

"Yeah, okay I don't like it. I'm sorry, you're my best friend but I don't get it. You can't just wake up one morning and say 'oh I think I'm gay.' And you can't assume everyone will be okay with it. Yes I want you to be happy and you are my best friend but I just don't get why you can't be normal!" I could tell by the look on her face that she did not mean to say that. That she wanted anything to take it back. But it was already said, it was too late.

"Fuck you Amber, I'd rather be happy and myself than 'normal.'" I jumped out of the tree and started to walk away.

I heard her jump down and say, "Fine but don't expect me to come crawling back. And you can find your own place for lunch!"

"Fine I'll just eat with Bridget, and yes I do like her!" with that I broke out into a run and didn't stop until I was safe in my house. I couldn't even make it to my room before the tears started.

I never cry, the last time I did was at my dad's funeral. Never since; but today I couldn't stop. She was my best friend; it felt like I was losing a part of me. I couldn't take it. I cried the rest of the night. Mom never noticed, I guessed she was already in bed, or maybe working late. I didn't care. All I wanted was to take it back, act like it never happened. But yet, my mind kept going back to Bridget's little smiling face.

Around eight o'clock I stopped crying and was well enough to leave my room. I went into the bath, dreading to see what I look like. My hair was tossed and mess, eyes puffy, nose bright red; I looked awful. I need to do something to get it off my mind. The first thing I thought of was Bridget. I remembered her saying something about where her host family lived and decided I'd go see her.

I found her house and knocked on the door. A short woman in plaid pajamas answers the door.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late, ma'am, but I was wondering if Bridget was here."

"Yes, she is; are you a friend of hers?"

"Yes, I was wondering if she could come over; I know it's short notice."

"Uh, yeah I'll go get her." She said with a smile and left me at the door. I could hear faint talking and the sound of Bridget's beautiful voice. A minute later she comes to the door and once she sees me her face breaks out into a big smile.

"Why hello, and what do I own this fine pleasure to?" she says with a laugh.

"Do you want to go out?"

"Where?"

"Anywhere, my place maybe?"

"Okay, let me grab some stuff. You can come in if you want." I follow her up the stairs. I couldn't help but notice how nice her butt looks in her tight skinny jeans. We get to a landing and go into a room at the end of the hall. The room was big with four windows in a row looking out over the backyard into the woods. Bridget grabs some clothes and throws them into a bag. I notice all of her clothes are similar: skinny jeans, flannels, tee shirts, and more flannel of every colour. I like her style. When she's done we head back down stairs where she tells the woman from the door that she'd be back tomorrow.

"Your family seems nice," I say as we walk out to my car.

"Yeah, I heard horror stories of families being awful but I lucked out. They love me and would do anything for me if I asked." She pauses for me to unlock the door and gets in. "So, why the sudden want to hang out?"

"Some stuff happened today, so I didn't want to be alone."

"What happened?" she honestly sounds concerned.

"I'd rather not say, maybe later." I try to smile but the events from just a few hours earlier come back to me.

"Well that's okay, I don't need to know. As long as you're okay," she gave me a big smile. "So what do you want to do on this fine night?"

"Maybe go around town, shop lift, rob a bank, do some drugs. Normal American things," I say with a real smile.

"I really hope you're joking."

"I am, I thought we could grab some food and go back to my place and just hang out; if that's okay with you."

"Sounds good, better than your first idea." We head back to my house; Mom was out for the night, thank god. We spend a few hours talking and joking around, I feel so much better after this afternoon. We talk about everything: family, life, her home. It's nice; I feel like I'm starting to fall for her, hard. By the time midnight hits we end up lying on my bed, her head on my chest, looking up at the celling.

Finally she asks again, "What happened today?"

I want to tell her, I just hope she is gay and doesn't yell at me like Amber. With a sigh I start, "Amber and I had a fight."

"About what?"

"About someone I like," strangely I want her to know it's her.

"What do you to like the same guy or something?"

"No, she doesn't approve of who I like."

"That can be problematic; do they know you like them?" I notice she didn't imply it was a guy, maybe she knows.

"I don't know it's iffy. I mean, I really like them but I don't know how they feel." She gets up from my chest and lies next to me on her back.

"I think if Amber doesn't like this person then she isn't being a good friend. She should want you to be happy."

"That's what I thought, but I guess that's not how she sees it."

"Maybe you should tell this person how you feel and if they feel the same then Amber shouldn't matter."

"But what if they don't feel the same?"

"I'm sure they will, who wouldn't like you?" _she knows._

I take a chance and go for it. I prop myself up on my elbows and look into her eyes. She has this look in her eyes that makes me want to tear her clothes off. Slowly, very slowly to access her reaction, I lower myself until I 'm a few centimeters from her face. I can feel her chest heaving against mine, I know she wants it. I take one last breath before I press my lips against hers. I feel her ease up from under me. Her lips are so soft and warm. They press against my perfectly. I feel her chest hitch as I wrap my arms around her back. Her hands run through my hair. After a while we break apart and we relax back onto the bed, lying side by side, chests heaving with rapid breaths.

"So, that's what you needed to say?" she says in between breaths.

"Yeah, that's about it." I turn my head to look at her staring up at the ceiling again. She looks so beautiful in profile. I can help but reach my hand out to hers and hold it tight.

"Is that why you guys got in a fight?"

"Yes, she noticed how I acted at lunch today and could tell I liked you."

"So you do like me?"

"Yes, very much so."

"So I was right, you are gay." She has a big smile on her face. She scoots in closer and curls up to my side.

"Yes, was I right about you?"

"Possibly, I'm gay as well." At that I started to feel very tired and we slowly drifted off to sleep. I remember kissing her forehead then I was out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three: Jake**

In the start of September my mom reminds me I have to have my monthly dinner with my dad that night. "Jake, remember you're going to your dad's for dinner tonight." Mom says as she does her hair for work.

"Do I have to?" I saw through a mouth full of tooth paste. "I hate it there."

"I know, but you have to. Maybe you should think about telling him you're, well, you."

"Ma, he isn't you. He won't get it."

"I didn't get it either, but as time went on I got used to it."

"But he still isn't the same." I run some gel through my hair, grab my bag and start to leave. "I'll think about out it. I'll see you at eight."

At school I meet up with Kit before English, we've become really good friends. I'm so glad I'm not alone this year. I remember the day I came out to my old friends.

It was the last day of school last year. They knew I was gay and were totally cool with it, but once I brought up the subject of gender they freaked out. We we're at lunch, messing around. All of my friends were guys so we never talked about anything serious until that day. We were talking and before I could second guess myself I went for it and said I was a boy. At first they thought it was a joke, and then after they made me say it again they freaked. First they laughed, and then they started to think about what that meant. Finally they understood, one by one they got up and walked away. My own best friend was the last to leave; he got up, called me a dyke and walked away. After that I was friendless. Thankfully they didn't tell anyone else or I wouldn't have been able to face everyone this year. I wish I could take it back but at the same time I'm glad I told them; if they can't accept me as a boy they don't deserve to be my friends.

I haven't spoken to any of them since that day, I do occasionally see them at school but I don't think they realize it's me. I'm just so worried that will happen every time I come out to someone. I dread the day that I finally tell Kit or if a girl likes me. I can't hide if forever.

That's why I haven't told my dad yet. He doesn't even know I like girls. He never shows interest in my life so I don't share things with him. But maybe if I tell him he'll stop having our monthly dinner; I hate going.

Kit must notice something is wrong since I haven't been talking like I normally do. She gives me a concerned look.

"You okay?" she asks as we walk to class.

"Yeah, I'm fine; just thinking."

"'Bout what?" she looks at me with her friendly smile meaning she wants me to tell her everything.

"Family stuff, it is okay though; no need to worry." I try to force a smile but I think it comes off a little too weak.

"If you say so," we get to class and thankfully we don't have much time to talk about it anymore since class starts.

The day flies by as if someone has turned all the clocks on twice the normal speed. Before I know it it's lunch time but I don't feel like eating. I couldn't help but think about tell my dad that my stomach turned into a huge knot. I sat and listened to Kit talk about how her dads were thinking of taking in the new foreign exchange student since they can't get approved to adopt again.

That's when I noticed the cute girl from study hall. She wasn't sitting with her friends; in fact she was on completely different sides of the quad from her friends. She was sitting alone until a little girl came to sit with her. She must be new because I've never seen her before. _I wonder why she isn't with the other two._ I try to not put much thought into it.

After what seems like an hour, the day is over, I'm on the bus, on the way home, waiting for Dad. I have to put on the one outfit I saved for seeing my dad, I'm surprised he hasn't noticed that I wear the same thing every time I see him. Of course he's ten minutes late, like always.

"Hey Ashley, how have you been? Still not growing that hair out I see." Dad says when I get in the car.

"I'm fine," I say ignoring his comment about my hair.

"That's good to hear. How's school, what grade are you in now, tenth?"

"Eleventh and it's fine."

"That's good to hear," and that's it for conversation until we get to the restaurant.

After we have eaten and we're waiting for the check I decide to tell him. Worried and anxious I say: "Dad, I need to tell you something, something very important. And I know you haven't been a big part of my life since what happened with Mon, but you need to know, as my father."

"What is it Ash? You can tell me."

"That's just it, I'm not Ashley. My name is Jake; I'm not the girl you think I am. I'm a boy, dad."

"What are you trying to say?"

"How much clearer can I be dad? I'm a boy, transgender; I'm not your daughter."

"Of course you are, you can't just be a boy. You're a girl. You're my Ashley." He starts to raise his voice, I knew this would happen. "You are not a boy!" he got up from the table, put money on the table and walked out.

I ran after him, "Dad, what the hell? You're just going to leave me here?" he got in the car and drove away without another word. "Fuck you dad!" I yell after him. I call my mom and she picks me up thirty minutes later. I start crying the second I get in, I know boys shouldn't cry but I couldn't help it. I can't believe he just left me there.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mom asks after we got home and I finally stopped crying.

"I told him, he didn't like it. What else is there to say?" I go up to my room and try to get my mind off it. I lie down on my bed, staring up at my celling. I couldn't help but replay the night in my head over and over again. I hate it but I make myself do it. After maybe twenty minutes Mom comes in with a mug of hot chocolate, it always calms me down and makes me feel better. She sets it on my desk, pats my arm and leaves. The good thing about Mom is she knows when I want to be left alone. At about nine I fall asleep, still fully dressed.

The next morning I awoke in a daze, it took a while for the events of last night to come back to me. At first I thought it was just a dream until I saw the empty mug on my desk. Which means it was real, it happened, and now I have no clue if he will ever talk to me again. Yet something in the back of my head tells me I shouldn't care.

I decide after school Kit and I should go out and get my mind off my dad. I didn't tell her what happened but she can call I'm not my same happy-go-lucky self. So after school Kit comes home with me, we grab some snacks and head out for a walk. We don't know where we are going just that we wanted to walk.

"So how do you feel about the paper we have to do in English?" Kit asks as she takes a sip of Coke.

"I have no clue, I hate papers. I can never think of what to say."

"I could always help you, you know."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "It has been about a month, how do you like it here?"

"I like it, I'm starting to get used to everyone and where everything is. My Dads like the city so they spend the weekends out."

"If you don't mind me asking, what's it like?"

"What's what like?" she says with a laugh.

"Having two dads."

"Oh, it's nice. I mean, I guess it's like everyone else. They still make sure I do well in school and that I have a social life. It's like living with my best friends, we're so close."

"So that thing people say about having gay parents makes you gay is fake?"

"Oh yeah, I laugh anytime someone asks if I'm gay too. Though it is nice; if I was gay I wouldn't have to deal with telling them. I do remember when they gave me the sex talk they adding in what to do if I was gay. Can you say awkward?"

"Ha sounds nice, I wish my parents were like that."

She gave a judging look and said "Why, are you gay?"

"Oh, no I just mean I wish my parents were open minded and didn't care what I was as long as I was happy." Which was very true, I wish my dad could have just been happy that I was.

"Oh, yeah It's nice; though sometimes I feel like I have to remind them that I like guys." I laugh at the thought of her coming out as straight. "I love them," she says with a smile.

"So, were you adopted?"

"Kind of, my dad Jeff; if you ever meet him he's the tall one; well he's my real dad. He and my mom split up when I was 5. He said he could lie anymore; I think Mom still loves him but wants him to be happy. I lived with her until I was 10; I spent my time evenly with them. At one point they lived together for about a year. Then my mom was offered a job in New York and they decided it would be best if I stated with my dad for school. I spend the summers with her now. It wasn't until I was 12 that my dad told me why they split; that was when he met Rick, my step dad. We moved in with them. At the time we lived in Canada so they got married when I was 15. This past summer Rick got a job here so we moved, and here I am." She ended with a smile.

"Wow, that's awesome. Do your parents still talk?"

"Yeah, Mom checks up on me and talks to Dad every once in a while. She actually went to their wedding. That's when I knew she still loved him."

"Did she ever find anyone else?"

"She's dated, but I don't think she'll ever get remarried." There was pause, I think we we're both thinking of what to say. After a few minutes she finally asks "what's your story?"

"My story, hmm not as exciting as yours," I stopped to think before staring. "My parents, they never really got along. As far back as I can remember they were always fighting. Sometimes I thought I was the only reason they were together. Then when I was 14 they finally separated. Dad just left, he didn't even want me. Once the divorce was finalized my mom made sure we would have at least one night a month to see each other. In the beginning I would see him every other weekend. Then one weekend a month, now it's only one dinner a month. Last night was this month's; let's just say it didn't go well."

"What happened?" she asked sounding concerned.

"We just had a fight, didn't end well. Long story short I won't be having our monthly dinners any time soon." I didn't want to tell her truth.

But I don't think I will have to because she asked "how does your mom feel about that? Wasn't she the one who wanted you to see him in the first place?"

"She doesn't mind. After the first year she preferred I stay with her. She finally realized how bad he was for us."

"I guess it works out then, do you like your dad?"

"Actually, no; I've hated him for as long as I can remember."

Around 4 o'clock we made our way back to Kit's house, her dads were home so we went in and I got to meet them. They are actually really nice. A little later I made my way back home so Mom wouldn't get worried if I wasn't there when she got home from work.

I feel completely different from last night, I'm actually happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Chris **

"Nah man, I would never try to hook up with Sam, she's like my sister." I'm sitting in the woods down the street with my friend Zach smoking. I don't smoke often but with all the drama with Amber and Sam I needed an escape. It's been two weeks and they're still not talking. I don't want to take sides since it's my sister and best friend, but I think it was very rude of Amb to do that to Sam. I just don't want to get involved and lose Sam as a friend or have it be awkward at home with Amber.

So instead of dealing, I come here and smoke. Just let it all go and not worry. It's not even weed, just cigarettes. But it still relaxes me. Zach would rather it be weed but I told him if he ever smoked it in front of me I'd punch him in the face. I just don't like it; I mean yes smoking is bad and probably worse than weed. But it's not illegal; I'm 18 so I can legally buy cigarettes. I just don't like what weed does to people; yet people still think I smoke it because I guess some of my friends do. Oh well, I can't stop them from doing anything.

After finishing with Zach I go home to Amber pacing in the kitchen. She's been doing this since the fight. She says it's because she's bored and is trying to think of what to do, but I know it's to stop her from calling Sam. I wish I could just slap them both so they realize how stupid it all is and that they are fucking up a 17 year old friendship; but I stay out of it.

I go straight to the laundry room and throw my clothes in the wash so Mom won't smell the smoke. Then go up to my room to start on the homework I got for the night. Normally I wouldn't do my homework, Sam and I would go out and chill. But since the fight Amber won't even let me talk to her. I hate it but whatever, I deal with it. But sooner or later I'm going to need my life back. At least since I do my homework my grades have been going up, I actually have straight Bs.

Thankfully it was the weekend so I can sleep in. That day I woke up to the sun shining into my room. It was an awesome day, and then I had a thought. Why should I care what Amber did? Sam is my friend too so I should be able to see her. So I got up, dressed, and ran down stairs. Amber was sitting at the table eating so I grab a pop tart off her plate and go out the door. I hear her say something after me but I honestly don't care. I go a few houses down to Sams and check if anyone is awake, they weren't. So I went around back to Sam's window and threw a rock at it. Normally people would think it was romantic, but that was our think. When we were little and we wanted to play, we started throwing rocks at each other's window so we wouldn't have to ring the doorbell and talk to parents. It became a habit that we still do it. I had to throw a few before she opened the window.

"What do you want?" her head pops out, most of her hair was sticking up meaning I woke her up.

"We need to talk, can you come out?"

"It's like eight o'clock, what is it that can't wait until later, like two PM?"

"I just need to talk to you, I'm sorry it's so early. I guess if you want we can do it later."

"No, it's fine; I'm up already. Give me five minutes," her head goes back inside and I take a seat at her patio table waiting, trying to think of what I would say. I didn't put much thought into it, I just knew I had to do something.

She comes out a few minutes later still in her pajamas. "So what did you need to talk about?" she sits down in the chair across from me and wraps he arms around her legs.

"Are you and Bridget dating?" I don't really know why I asked it, I was just wondering.

"Yes," was all she said; so I didn't want to go into detail.

"Is that why you aren't talking to Amber?"

"Mhmm."

"Why should it matter who you date? "

"I don't know, you tell me why your sister won't talk to me anymore. I can't help I like girls."

"I know, I just hate how it's like we can't be friends because of her. If she knew I was here right now she's kill me." I look up at the morning sun, low in the sky thinking. "You know, we've been friends for 17 years. It was always us three; and we've had fights before. I know this time is different, but I just hope we can pull through again and it be the three of us again."

"I hope so too. I miss you, Chris." She looks at me with a smile. We sit in silence for a few minutes waiting for the other to talk.

Finally I say "so you and Bridget, how's that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," She winks at me. This is the old Sam, the Sam I missed.

"It's good to see you Sam," I say with a smile.

"You too man," she reaches across the table to punch my shoulder.

"I'll let you get back to bed or whatever, that's all I really wanted to say." I get up ready to leave but as she gets up she pulls me into a hug. We never hug; come to think of it, I don't think we have ever touched besides hitting each other. Well besides when we were little. I never realized how little Sam was before. She's short yeah but her body is little. I feel like if I squeeze any tighter I would snap her in half.

We let go and say good bye and with that I'm walking back home with a smile on my face. That is until I go back home to find Amber staring out the window at me.

When I get in she says "What were you doing?"

"Talking to Sam," I say as I go to the fridge and grab a Mountain Dew.

"Why would you talk to her?" I hear her follow after me.

"Because she's my best friend," I turn to look at Amber straight in the eyes. "Look, sis, I know you two had a fight but that doesn't mean I have to stop talking to her. I hate always being in the middle of you two. So she likes girls, who cares? She's still the same person you've been friends with since we were 1. I used to think you were the mature one out of us, but I guess I was wrong. She's your best friend, without her I'm all you got." With that I go up to my room leaving her staring at the spot where I was standing. It felt good to say, it was what I've wanted to say all along since this stupid fight started, no since Sam came out to us and Amber changed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five: Halloween**

**Amber**

_Chris is right; I need to remember Sam is still the same person. _I've been telling myself this since he yelled at me a month ago. Anytime I see Sam with her girlfriend or she talks about girl I tell myself this. I'm getting better though. We got back together and talk again. I guess you could say it's back to how it was after she came out; not perfect but we're trying.

It's almost Halloween and Chris and I are getting ready for a big party we're having. Our parents said senior year we could have a real high school party as long as there wasn't any drug or beer. We've invited all of our friends. I even invited the kids I sit with in Math. I've gotten close to them since that first day of school. Kit and Jake are very nice; they even help when I don't understand a problem in class. Though I learnt they aren't dating, they're just friends. I've actually developed a bit of a crush on Jake, which may be why I invited them. I even had him over to help me with homework once, he was so polite and I even told him why I'm so bad at math. He didn't find it weird or anything.

The day of the party I asked Sam, Kit and Jake to help out with setting up. I guess Kit was shopping with her parents until 5 so she couldn't come. Sam had Bridget up to take her place. Which I didn't mind because we need the help; Mom and Dad said they were going out for the weekend, after reminding us of the rules, to make it a real party. So we didn't have their help. I've actually come to like Bridget; she's a very nice girl. Chris was in the bathrooms cleaning everything up. Sam was in the kitchen and Bridget in the living room. Jake and I went to the store to get more food.

I actually wanted to be alone with him. I suggested just getting chips but Jake said with the amount of people coming we should get other stuff too. He's very helpful; he offered to carry everything though I protested. Back home he helped me put up all of the decorations, only after laughing at how childish they were.

"My parents don't like scary, that's all we have."

"Get your keys," he told me.

"Why, we don't have any more money."

"I know," he drives us to his house; I never knew he lived a few minutes from me. "My mom used to love decorating and having haunted houses but with her workload this year we didn't have time to do it this year." He explains as we go to a room that I think is his. He jumps and grabs a string hanging from the ceiling of his closet. A ladder falls down leading up to an attic. "Stay there, I'll hand you boxes," and he disappears into the darkness.

Twenty minutes later the car is packed with boxes and we head back home to set up. We have three hours until everyone would start coming; thankfully Kit got done early and everyone was done cleaning.

**Kit**

Around seven o'clock everyone changed and got ready for Amber's Halloween party. I was an 80's girl, Jake was Batman, Sam was Peter Pan and her girlfriend, Bridget, was Tinker Bell, Chris and Amber was each other. Chris was wearing a wig, skinny jeans, and Amber's track hoddie; whilst Amber was wearing baggie pants, her hair tied up and shoved under a hat, and Chris's favourite bad shirt. We all sat around talking until about 8 when everyone started to come. I stuck around Jake most of the time besides when Amber would take him away to meet someone. I could tell she liked him, and yes I was jealous. I've had a crush on him since the first day of school. It sucks every time she takes him away.

After a few hours after Amber pulls Jake away again I see them very close and laughing. Jake has his arm around Amber's waist and he says something into her ear. Bridget comes up to me and sees where I'm looking and says "You like him," more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," I answer anyway.

"But she likes him to," she motions to Amber.

"I think so, but I think he likes her not me."

"Maybe, maybe not; you'll never know until to try. But if I've learnt one thing since I've been her it's that you don't want to get in the way of what Amber wants."

"Yeah, she'd kill me," Bridget laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I say see what he wants if you want him to be happy. If he just wants to be friends it's better than nothing." With that she smiles and goes back to Sam who was talking to a guy dressed a gorilla.

Maybe she's right, he looks very happy with Amber. I should be happy that he is, right?

**Jake**

Amber pulls me off to the side like she has been for the past three hours, I like it. She's cute and I like the attention. But this time she take me up to her room, says she has to show me something. So I sit on her bed waiting. She comes back a few minutes later wearing a Robin girl's costume. Not going to like she looks very hot.

"I was going to wear this when you told me you were going to be Batman, but Chris wanted the switch." She sits next to me on the bed.

"I like this way more than Chris." I can't help but notice how nice her chest looks. Amber leans in close and kisses me softly but it erupts into full blown make out. After a few minutes I feel her hand move from my waist to my thigh. Then slowly it moves closer to in-between my legs. I jump up off the bed; Amber falls back and stares up at me.

"What's wrong!"

"I, I'm sorry, I can't," I run out of the room. I hear her get up and run after me. I'm out of the house by the time she catches up to me.

She grabs my arms and pulls me around, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know, it's my fault, I have to go." I escape her hold and start walking.

After a few minutes I calm down but only to notice two guys are walking towards me. They look up right at me and I instantly know who they are; my old friends.

"Hey look who it is," the first one says.

"Isn't that the tranny we used to talk to?" the other asks.

"I think it is," they move in closer and I know exactly what is about to come.

**Sam**

"Hey, Jake just ran out and he won't listen to me. Can you guys go see if he's okay?" Amber says in a rushed voice; she's very frantic.

"Yeah, of course," Bridget and I go out and look around. We can hear some voices down the road so we run that way. We see two guys standing over someone. They look up and see us coming. They kick the person on the ground and run in between two of the houses.

When we get over I recognize the yellow Batman symbol; it's Jake.

"Jake, can you hear me?" I kneel down next to him; Bridget backs away with her hand over her mouth. I carefully turn him onto his back. _He's breathing, thank god._ My mind races trying to think of what to do; call someone, call the police, take him home. "Bridget what do we do?"

"I, I don't know," her voice is shaking.

"S-Sam?" I hear Jake say; he lifts his hand as if to make sure I was there. I hold it softly; I can feel something wet probably blood. I heard Bridget calling 911 and ten minutes later an ambulance there to pick him up. Bridget decides to go back to tell Amber, I think it's so she wouldn't have to see him in the light. I stay with him and ride over to the hospital with him._ Just let him be okay, please let him be okay._

**Kit **

Bridget comes out of nowhere and runs over to Amber, half crying. Amber's face goes white. I go over to see what's going on. Amber runs out of the room and Bridget throws herself on me and hugs me tight.

"Oh Kit, It's awful," I hear her say in my ear.

"What, what happened?"

"It's Jake," she lets go when Amber comes back. she grabs my arm and pulls me with them.

"What's going on, what happened to Jake?" but they don't answer me. We get in Amber's car and no one speaks the whole time we're in it. Bridget is silently crying in the passenger seat. Fifteen minutes later we're at the hospital. "Guys, what the hell happened?"

"Jake is hurt," is all Amber says. We go up a few floors and see Sam sitting on the ground in front of a room. Her legs are up to her chest and her hands are on her forehead. It looks like there is blood on her hands.

She looks up at us, she's been crying as well, "it's not so bad, but it'll take a while before he's back to normal." Bridget sits next to her and wraps her hands around Sam. Amber is staring out into space, standing in the middle of the hall. I find a chair and sit down trying to keep calm. Sam tells us what happened when they found him.

Half an hour later a doctor comes lets us into his room to explain what's wrong. "She has a broken rib which will take a while to heal but the cuts and bruises will go away quickly."

"Wait, that's Jake, he's a boy," Sam says what I assume we were all thinking.

"No, that is a girl you brought in," the doctor says but he gets a page and her has to leave.

We all look at each other thinking the same thing. I was the closest to the bed so I retched down and lifted the blanket up. There, under the hospital gown, were unmistakable bumps on his chest. I put the blanket back down and look up at them. Amber gasps and puts her hand over her mouth. Sam and Bridget just look at me waiting for me to say something. But I don't know what to say. This was my best friend, Jake, a boy. He was a boy, or is he? I don't know what to do.

As if to speak for me, Jake's eyes flutter and open. Staring up at the ceiling, I noticed his left eye is swollen and purple. He looks around at us as if to question where he was.

"Why's everyone lookin' at me?" he asks with a laugh.

"Jake, um, the doctor was calling you a girl, why?"

His eyes go wide, well his one good eye. Amber lets out a sob but quiets herself.

**Chris**

I haven't seen Jake or the girls in a while but the party is going great. It seems like everyone is having fun.

Around midnight everyone starts slowly clearing out. By two everyone was gone and I was alone. Jake and the girls weren't there. _Where the hell could they be?_ I wonder to myself, _probably don't want to clean up_. I start going around throwing trash away but once the trash was gone I decide to leave the rest and go to bed.

I wake up the next morning and Amber still isn't back. "Where the fuck is she?"


End file.
